Dear 26: I Promise to Stop Breaking Promises

 

I thought making a list of 26 things I want to accomplish this year would be a great way to celebrate my birthday. And then I realized, wow that’s going to be a really long blog post. No one is going to read that. Well, except maybe my dad.

And if you are reading this… hi, dad.

I still have a list of 26 things I want to achieve before I turn 27, but it’s at the very end of this post. You know, in case you’re not interested in lists that long.

For now, I’ve been asking myself what’s the most important thing I want to change that I’ve done a bad job at last year. And that requires taking a hard look at the past year.

So Long 25, I’m Not Sad to See You Go

I spent most of this past year just straight up uncomfortable, overwhelmed and uncertain of myself and what I should be doing.

In fact, I woke up on the morning of my 25th birthday to finding an empty parking spot where I parked my car the night before and paying a towing company almost $200 to get back something that I already owned.

So, should I have been surprised that this last year was…weird? Lonely? Awkward? I guess with how I spent that morning, no. But I was because it wasn’t exactly how I pictured my first year out of college.

I got my first job in marketing as a junior copywriter (a total accident I’m still on the fence about), moved into my first apartment by myself and adopted my first dog. Love you, Bart.

All those things look and sound really great on paper.

But as I’ve been transitioning from college to this new world I’m in, sacrificing a run here and there is a really bad habit when I’m tired or things are hectic at work because spoiler alert: I’m always tired and things only get more hectic at work every day.

Instead of lacing my shoes up when I get home from work and just getting it over with, I tell myself I deserve a break from working so hard and proceed to do…nothing. For months.

While rewatching Michael Scott call Dwight an ignorant slut from the roof of Dunder Mifflin on The Office for the seventh time feels pretty nice after a long day, it’s not giving me anything good to feel about in the long run. And that’s how I found myself running a half marathon last April that I didn’t really train for.

And when I said “didn’t really train for” I mean “my longest training run was 7 miles.”

Dear 26: I Promise to Stop Breaking Promises

So, when I think about the one thing I want to work on this year, it’s simple. Stop breaking promises I make to myself. Even when things are out of control, I’m tired and my best friend’s Netflix account is calling my name.

I started running five years ago after I’d never done anything resembling exercise in my life. It was hard and painful, which was expected. What I didn’t expect was for it to bring out the best in me. For the first time, I was proving to myself that I could do difficult things. Things I thought I wouldn’t ever be capable of in my life.

And since that very first awkward and painful run five years ago, I’ve run seven half marathons, and I’m registered for my eighth in February.

While I’m still in that transitional season of my life, it’s more important than ever that I stop breaking my promise to myself. I need to run consistently enough to benefit from that powerful confidence and emotional strength running gives me.

So, this year I’m putting my focus and energy back into running with the goal of running two half marathons, two 5ks for time and one 10k for time. And this time I’m not being lenient with myself. I’m holding myself accountable by running four times a week minimum until my training plan for the Disney Princess Half Marathon starts in December and has me running five times a week for 16 weeks.

I’ve been sticking to this for over a month and a half now and so far, I haven’t broken my promise and it feels great. I feel like I can count on myself again and this missing side of myself has finally decided to make her long-awaited appearance.

That being said, there’s going to be plenty of future posts about building my base back up again, how training for a half marathon is magical and terrible at the same time and what pair of running shoes I end up buying for training after I’ve worn the same pair for two and a half years.

In the meantime, here’s my list of things I want to accomplish during my 26th year!

26 for 26

  1. Run a 5k race in 26 minutes
  2. Run a 10k in 58 minutes
  3. Break 2:15 at the Disney Princess Half Marathon
  4. Break up with Coca Cola
  5. Drink two bottles of kombucha a week
  6. Add more plant-based foods to my diet
  7. Read two books a month
  8. Only miss church if I’m out of town
  9. Write one blog post a month
  10. Donate to more charities that are important to me
  11. Spend one hour a week with the Bible
  12. Get out on more walks with Bart
  13. Start investing
  14. Keep working out four times a week
  15. Lift weights twice a week
  16. Take more online courses in copywriting and social media
  17. Put on the damn sunscreen
  18. Explore more of Florida outside of the Tampa Bay area and Orlando
  19. Make a big step towards the kind of career I want to have
  20. Pay off my credit cards
  21. Buy a medal rack for my racing medals
  22. Expand my cooking skills every so slightly
  23. Go to yoga once a month
  24. Buy a keyboard and start learning how to play
  25. Spend some quality time with my foam roller
  26. Spend my 27th birthday with my best friends from back home

Medal Monday: The Coldest Race of My Life

Hey guys!

It’s been awhile since I’ve done a Medal Monday post, so I wanted to apologize for my inconsistent posting schedule lately. I’ve been pretty busy since graduating college last month. I moved back to Florida permanently, bought my first car (2013 VW Beetle light blue!), had a couple mental breakdowns during my never ending job search, and questioned things like my life choices and entire existence. Just normal post-grad things!

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How I’m handling the realization that college prepared me for nothing.

One thing that centers me aside from running is writing. Hence why this blog is called The Running Writer. If you couldn’t tell yet, one of my hidden talents is pointing out things that are already painfully obvious!

So for my own sanity I wanted to get back in the swing of writing a new Medal Monday for you every week. These posts are reminders of why I started running and why I’ll continue running as long as my little legs allow me to. Which is hopefully for many many more years.

My last Monday Medal post was the Iron Girl Half Marathon in Clearwater, FL. Today we’re going to fast forward six months from that first finish line to the second one aka the coldest race I’ve ever ran in my entire life, but that’s just a minor detail.

All of my medals are special to me, but this one in particular marks the beginning of an era of crossing many finish lines with one of my closest friends.

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A rare photo of Caitlyn and I together NOT in active wear!

Enter: Caitlyn! Please get familiar with her, because she’s going to be in quite a few future Medal Mondays.

Along with crossing those finish lines together came many pre-race rituals, which looks a bit like this:

  1. Carb loading the night before.
  2. An intense dance party, but not too intense, we have to run 13.1 miles in the morning for crying out loud!
  3. Sleeping in our race outfits in Caitlyn’s twin sized bed.
  4. Waking up at way-too-early o’clock after going through 12 of Caitlyn’s alarms.
  5. Singing our lungs out on the way to the race (lately, to Hamilton).
  6. Kicking butt out there on the course!

I can’t remember exactly how, but over that summer I managed to convince her to start training for Morristown’s Halloween Half Marathon with me.

Like any second time half marathoner, I actually had confidence in my ability to run 13.1 miles and not die or give up and become a laughing stock to all my family and friends. When I was training for my first half marathon I was almost positive I would complete my training and cross the finish line, but I wasn’t sure that I would ever do it again.

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My face anytime someone asked me what my time goal was.

That being said, I of course didn’t set a time goal. I was still impressed that after growing up with almost a grudge towards anything athletic related, that I was going to train and complete a SECOND half marathon.

Training was a breeze, although I missed quite a few long runs. I was so confident in my ability to cross the finish line that I didn’t stick to my training. I seriously want to cringe thinking about how THAT was my attitude.

Don’t be cocky like 23-year-old Kerry. Just don’t.

Remember how I said earlier that this was the coldest race of my life? Let’s talk about that, yeah?

Race day was in the middle of October, which in New Jersey is full on fall time. The week leading up to our race was unusually warm for the time of year it was. Caitlyn and I had our fingers crossed that the weather would hold out for us.

Spoiler alert: It didn’t. Overnight, it turned to winter and the high for race day was 38 degrees. While we were running the temperature MIGHT have reached 35 degrees.

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I am Hans and Elsa is God. My prayers were not answered for nice weather.

I know people run in much more frigid temperatures and for sure don’t complain about it nearly as much as I do but for those of you that don’t know me that well, I don’t do well in the cold which is one of the many reasons why I love Florida. From October to around April when I lived in New Jersey I avoided the outdoors and I moaned and groaned anytime I did have to go outside. I wasn’t the most pleasant company to say the least.

Caitlyn and I wore long sleeve shirts, giant sweatshirts, gloves AND those ear warmer headband things that I’ve never know the name for. We stood around for nearly 45 minutes before the race started and we wore everything long past the finish line.

second half marathon

 

The second we stopped running I had the longest coughing fit from the cold air in my lungs. I don’t think I’ve ever been so cold in my life, but I don’t remember not smiling at any point.

Looking back and sharing all the little details makes me look at how far I’ve come as a runner. I’m really grateful that it’s something I’ve stuck with and improved at because it really has changed my life.

I guess that’s what the medals are for right? Marking milestones in our never ending running stories.

Thanks for hanging around for another Medal Monday guys! I’ll see you on Twitter and Instagram (I just posted pictures from my day trip to Disney!).

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Why My 6th Half Marathon Was the Best and Worst Run of My Life

Alright.

It’s been two weeks, I think it’s time to talk about it.

Back in April I wrote a blog post telling you guys I was training for my sixth half marathon and that Caitlyn (my running buddy) and I set our first time goal. Our fastest time for finishing a half marathon was two hours and 20 minutes, and this time around we wanted to finish in two hours and 15 minutes.

May 21st rolled around and we found ourselves at the starting line and eventually crossing the finish line BUT…it was the worst run I’ve ever been on, but the lesson I learned from it is why it was also the best race of my life.

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Here’s a rare photo of me smiling out on the course, clearly it was before I thought I was going to die.

We didn’t finish in two hours and 15 minutes, but we did finish in two hours and 18 minutes which means we still broke a personal record, just not the one that we wanted. On the bright side, our splits were pretty impressive compared to our other races. Our first two miles were under 10 minutes and for the rest of the race we remained pretty consistent, staying between 10:06 and 10:30. So that’s not exactly why it was a flop. 

Let me start off by saying, I didn’t train properly for this race and man my body was not very forgiving out there on the course! I’m typically really strict with myself when it comes to a training schedule but this time around I had more on my plate than I could balance. Between my wisdom teeth removal, finishing the last month of my college career, graduation and the attention required for car shopping and moving to another state…well let’s just say my runs were very far apart and not very long at all. In fact, the farthest I ran in my training was 7 miles, which isn’t very close to running 13.1 miles.

During the first two miles, all I could think about was how long this race was going to be. I knew I would finish, but I also knew I wasn’t going to finish feeling strong. I ended up being right, but that mindset didn’t provide any kind of help for me.

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By mile five my ankles and feet were starting to hurt, which for me is a really bad sign considering that pain doesn’t kick in until usually mile 10. As soon as I noticed the pain I thought “Well aren’t we in quite the pickle?” And I’m allergic to pickles, so it didn’t end well.

Nonetheless I kept running as fast as my body would let me and while it was tough, I didn’t get a taste of just how impossible finishing seemed until mile 10.

It was a downhill slope and I crashed to the bottom.

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I think Caitlyn was happy enough for the both of us when I started crashing!

Usually Caitlyn hits a wall at mile 10 and I cheer her on for the remaining 3.1 miles to the finish line, but the roles reversed this time. She had the big smile on her face and I had the scowl.

My entire body hurt and with every step I took I felt the urge to vomit growing stronger. I was angry and incredibly disappointed with myself for not following through with my training plan. For the last three miles I was telling myself I could do this on one step, and that I couldn’t with the next.

I’d like to say crossing the finish line put a smile on my face, but it didn’t. It only made me more annoyed because I realized I didn’t break the PR I wanted and I knew it was my own fault.

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Can you tell I was dying and Caitlyn was fine?

What made this even more difficult to swallow was everyone waiting for us at the finish line. Usually the only person waiting for me is my dad, but, two of my friends and my boyfriend were there this time as well.

There’s something more unsettling about failing in front of other people as opposed to failing when no one’s watching. I’m embarrassed to say it, but this gave me even more of an attitude and made me feel annoyed that they were there.

I just want to make this point so we all understand how unreasonable I was being. These are people that have never made me feel that I needed to impress them. They have always accepted me at exactly where I was. Did any of them care that we finished in 2 hours and 18 minutes? Obviously not. They were just excited to be there supporting us and thought we were total badasses.

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Look at my friends not caring that I didn’t run as fast as I said I was going to!running a half marathon, never-mind six of them!

I was a little snippy with everyone for a while. This is awful, but I didn’t even thank them for coming until 20 minutes after crossing the finish line. After we ate I perked up the tiniest bit and was tolerable to be around again.

Sorry for being a jerk, friends. I love you for showing up on race day and every other day.

I’m still so embarrassed about my time that I’ve put off writing this. But I learned a huge lesson from this last race.

Not every run is going to be a success. They won’t all leave me feeling new again and ready to take on the world. Expecting every run to be better than the last is just setting myself up for failure at some point. Instead, you should expect to always show up and work your absolute hardest and give it your all. Life happens and it can get in the way of training.

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Check out that sweet medal!

Running is hard sometimes, and so is life. What I experienced during this race was incredibly human. I did the best I could at that point and I still finished with a PR.

It’s necessary to be disappointed in ourselves sometimes. You learn an incredibly important lesson from it and it’ll make you work even harder the next time around. So don’t be afraid to fail, okay?

Get out there and give it your all. No matter if you fail or succeed, you’ll grow either way. That’s what life’s about. Don’t forget that.

Well that’s all I’ve got for you today! Stay connected with me on Twitter and Instagram so you can watch me win and fail, sometimes with grace and sometimes without it.

Talk to you guys soon!

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